


Oh, What a Night

by torino10154



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bestiality, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, Ficlet, Goats, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:38:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/pseuds/torino10154
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens in the barnyard, stays in the barnyard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, What a Night

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 2015 Summer of Severus Comment Fest at [Severus_Fest](http://severus-fest.livejournal.com/).

"Up ye get," an amused voice said.

Severus tried to remember just where he was and did as soon as he took his first conscious breath. 

Sitting upright, he regretted it immediately. He held his head in his hands, the events of the previous evening playing across his mind.

He'd had a few drinks, hoping to get off with the help of someone else's hand for a change. Trouble was that he wasn't welcome in the Three Broomsticks and the clientele of the Hogs Head tended to make Severus look like an attractive man.

So he'd finished a bottle (or two) of Firewhisky and stumbled to his room over the bar. 

Only he wasn't in his room at all but in the barn, straw for a pillow. 

"Goats," he muttered, finally getting to his feet. 

Aberforth laughed. "If you'd wanted to spend the night with Selwyn, you only needed ask me."

"Selwyn?" Severus said, still holding his head with one hand. "Who's that?"

"That's him there." Aberforth pointed to the corner of the stall where a large black and white goat sat.

Chewing on a pair of pants.

Severus blinked several times, horror dawning as he realised that yes, in fact, those were his pants. He had nothing on beneath his robes. 

"He's well trained," Aberforth said, conversationally. "Knows just what to do when I'm feeling randy."

Face hot with embarrassment, Severus muttered, "Merlin help me." 

"Ah, you'd prefer a go with Myrddin then?" Aberforth said, clapping him on the shoulder. "He's a handful but if you managed to bugger Selwyn in the state you were in, maybe you're man enough to handle him after all. Myrddin!"

Severus turned and saw a huge, angry looking goat heading toward the stall.

"Just keep an eye on his horns. My left arsecheek hasn't been the same since he got me."

"I've got to get back to Hogwarts," Severus said in a burst of breath as he backed away from the approaching creature.

"Guess I'll have to take my own pleasure then," Aberforth said with a shrug. "Wouldn't want to disappoint him now that I've called him."

As Aberforth's hand slipped inside his robes, Severus spun on the spot and Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts, headache and hangover be damned. 

"Bloody hell." Severus hurried toward the castle, desperate to scrub every inch of his skin clean.

The following Friday—after a week to rival the seventh circle of hell—a non-descript postal owl arrived at breakfast.

_Selwyn has been a nuisance all week._

_A bottle of Firewhisky on the house for your trouble._

Severus sent a brief reply.

_Two bottles._


End file.
